Get Yo' Ass In The Kitchen and Make Me a Pie Bitch

Mr. Mojito had pulled a disappearing act of sorts a few weeks ago. Schools of thought differ on why he backed away. Was it the text about wanting him to join me in a beach front condo with a hot tub on the deck? According to my friend Sparks, up to 10 people drown daily in hot tubs and bath tubs and I probably scared him away. Was it the fact I can be intimidating? According to my friend Ryan, I probably just flat out scare him because computer guys are timid. Was it the fact I threw up on pretty much every date we've had? I wouldn't blame him for that one.
After we met for drinks one night, I learned that his last break-up was more recent than I had realized. He said he had been feeling anti-social, kind of down and 'not really into the whole dating thing'. So this indicates to me that we are 'dating' but in no way 'boyfriend/girlfriend' or 'exclusively dating.'

I still have my eHarmony profile up. Right about this same time, a guy on eHarmony suggested we meet in person. I have never met 'in person' anyone I have found online before. I threw out an afternoon coffee meeting at a Starbucks - public place, high traffic, defined end point, and an easy escape if needed.
I arrived first so I looked at the coffee mugs and french presses until he arrived. I saw who I presumed to be him pull up in a Volvo sedan, walk in and instead of looking around for me he walked straight to the counter to order his coffee. He then proceeds to call my cell phone.

Red flag one, the Volvo. Red flag two, bought his own coffee but not mine.

I bought my own coffee with my own money and we found a table. After the 'nice to meet you's were finished, he says "I made you a present."
I am completely taken off guard because what the hell do you 'make' someone for a first coffee date? Dude whips out a homemade, full size, lattice crust BERRY PIE!
First off, I don't this dude from a hole in the wall. I don't let my kid take homemade caramel apples on Halloween... same principal applies here. Second, I've seen American Pie. Third, that's just way over the top and screams I TRY TOO HARD AND I'M DESPERATE!!!
Later that night I got a rather lengthy 'nice to have met you' email from Berry Pie Guy. I didn't respond. Monday I got a second lengthy email from Berry Pie Guy. He blabbers on about some 80's movie that's playing at some artsy theatre (turns out it is Flight of the Navigator). And the best part... he actually writes "...not sure if you're busy on Thursday, but we should go see this."
Last time I checked, there is no WE as a result of two people drinking coffee at the same table. WE are not going to a movie or anything else because there is no WE. WE are still at the "would you like to..." stage which isn't gonna happen either.
And no, I did not eat the pie.