Check 'YES' or 'NO'

Given the events that have transpired since Friday night, and in combination of all that has happened over the past year and a half, I have decided I need to hand out a questionnaire on Date 1. Just get all the freakin' deal breakers done up front.

1. Do you drive a pickup truck? NO, skip to question 3.
2. Do you regularly use your truck to haul the dead animals you've killed? 2a. Do you hang the dead animals you've killed on your wall at home? YES, turn around now or I will hunt you.
3. Do you have any pets?
4. Do you approve of dogs sleeping in the house? NO, well too bad because mine do and they always will.
5. Do you have any issues with a girl swinging around a stripper pole for fun and/or taking pole dancing lessons? YES, well get over them or I'll swing around the pole and knock you upside the head with a 4-inch platform heel.
6. Do you enjoy flavored lotions and potions and such in the bedroom? (Hint: the right answer here is YES!)
7. Do battery operated things in the bedroom intimidate you? NO, good. YES, could be worked through if the answer to question 6 is YES.
8. Do you have a strong preference for any one hair color or have an aversion to hair color that changes on a regular basis or contains multiple colors? NO, good. YES, consider this fair warning that I pay more for my hair every three months than some people pay in groceries for a month and there is ALWAYS color involved.
9. Do you have the ability to ride in the passenger seat and allow more than 5 minutes to pass without grabbing the 'oh shit' handle and asking if I'm trying to kill you? NO, you will always drive. YES, damn good thing... the speed limit is merely a suggestion.
10. Do you pay your bills on time? If you own a home, do you have any equity in it? If the answer to either of these is NO, you will need to submit a credit report for further consideration

Anyone who makes it through those questions, we've got a pretty good chance at a future.