Check 'YES' or 'NO'

Given the events that have transpired since Friday night, and in combination of all that has happened over the past year and a half, I have decided I need to hand out a questionnaire on Date 1. Just get all the freakin' deal breakers done up front.

1. Do you drive a pickup truck? NO, skip to question 3.
2. Do you regularly use your truck to haul the dead animals you've killed? 2a. Do you hang the dead animals you've killed on your wall at home? YES, turn around now or I will hunt you.
3. Do you have any pets?
4. Do you approve of dogs sleeping in the house? NO, well too bad because mine do and they always will.
5. Do you have any issues with a girl swinging around a stripper pole for fun and/or taking pole dancing lessons? YES, well get over them or I'll swing around the pole and knock you upside the head with a 4-inch platform heel.
6. Do you enjoy flavored lotions and potions and such in the bedroom? (Hint: the right answer here is YES!)
7. Do battery operated things in the bedroom intimidate you? NO, good. YES, could be worked through if the answer to question 6 is YES.
8. Do you have a strong preference for any one hair color or have an aversion to hair color that changes on a regular basis or contains multiple colors? NO, good. YES, consider this fair warning that I pay more for my hair every three months than some people pay in groceries for a month and there is ALWAYS color involved.
9. Do you have the ability to ride in the passenger seat and allow more than 5 minutes to pass without grabbing the 'oh shit' handle and asking if I'm trying to kill you? NO, you will always drive. YES, damn good thing... the speed limit is merely a suggestion.
10. Do you pay your bills on time? If you own a home, do you have any equity in it? If the answer to either of these is NO, you will need to submit a credit report for further consideration

Anyone who makes it through those questions, we've got a pretty good chance at a future.

Some New Tricks

As M gets older, I must keep reminding myself that she knows how to read now - but she still reads everything out loud. Things like Cosmopolitan and Glamour that I used to leave just lying around should probably be put away.
The other night she grabbed one of my magazines from under the coffee table and flopped down on the couch.
"N e w S e x T r i c k s"
"Mom, what are sex tricks?"

...Must Love Dogs

It's no secret my time is spread pretty thin with working full time, being a single mom, taking classes for an M.B.A., and I volunteer with an animal rescue group.
As Cowboy kindly pointed out tonight, he's not sure how much we actually have in common. My dogs live inside the house with me. Cowboy was raised with dogs that lived outside, and his two dogs live outside. My idea of a vacation is to lay out on the beach with a mai tai, and his is to go kill something. He lives out in the styx, I live in the ghetto-hood, and neither of us wants to move. I think swinging around stripper poles and dancing on the bar is sexy and fun, he doesn't think much of it or in anyway find it attractive.
I guess in some way at some level I saw this coming. We weren't going anywhere. In fact, we were right back to where we were before Christmas.
To an extent, I had the 'new and improved' version of my ex hubby - nice truck, likes to dance, and no drugs but otherwise very, very similar.
Logically, I get it but it f'in sucks.

Lofty Expectations

I had never been to a Cirque du Soleil performance before. M had never been to circus before. I decided the money spent would be worth the experience. It's been a couple weekends ago now, but I took M to 8 p.m. Saturday night show of Corteo. Fabulous!
I sometimes wonder if I'm a little hard on my child, and with work and school I feel like I don't get to put as much fun into our lives as I should. Sometimes it's money, but most of the time, it's lack of time and no energy. This night was just for me and M.
We went to dinner at Red Robin (come on, my date was a 7 year old, what did you expect?). We watched Corteo. M sat in awe the entire show. When I asked how she liked it, I actually got a "Wow Mom, this is so cool. This was worth waiting in traffic." Towards the end she was so tired she could barely keep her head up and her eyelids were so heavy, I asked her if she wanted to go home. She told me no, we are staying for whole thing.

We had a wonderful night. And in hindsight, I realized that I made my daughter's first circus experience Cirque du Soleil. I have set future expectations so freakin' high that a normal circus just isn't gonna cut it... EVER!